by Kim Childs, CPPC In my Positive Psychology training, I learned about the Japanese word kaizen, which means continuous improvement and represents how Japan rebounded from the devastation of the Second World War. I believe in the power of small and sustainable changes toward any new goal we have. It keeps the brain from signaling "Danger, danger!" and triggering sabotage as we try to stretch beyond our comfort zone, no matter how positive the new direction. That’s the thing about…
by Kim Childs, CPPC This month, I'm personally processing another loss as I witness the suffering of so many around the world. I'm learning more about the demands and stages of grief, the words and gestures that are most helpful to those who are grieving, and ways to cultivate gratitude and other positive emotions when times are hard. I plan to share lessons from this particularly challenging loss later on. Meanwhile, I'm offering resources that have helped me in the…
by Kim Childs, CPPC About 20 years ago, I was washing dinner dishes and listening to a lecture by a spiritual teacher when he said something that made me pause. Talking about how we humans often perpetuate our own suffering, he startled me with the words “Your mind is not always your friend.” “What?!” I exclaimed, as a former straight-A student who valued her intelligence and sharp mind. But what this teacher actually meant is tidily summed up in one…
by Kim Childs, CPPC Recently, I returned early from a weekend trip to Cape Cod because my traveling companion had a Sunday appointment. While I typically stay on the Cape as long as possible and come home to jump right into the work week, this time I had a whole afternoon and evening to use as I pleased. I took a long, therapeutic bath while listening to Brazilian jazz. I finished a book I’d been reading. Later, I made myself…
by Kim Childs, CPPC In June, I gave myself a 30-day challenge to look in the mirror each morning and say, "I love you." It seemed like a simple practice. But as the saying goes, simple does not always mean easy. I’d heard about this exercise from author Louise Hay, who advocates positive self-talk and affirmations for physical and emotional healing and well-being. In her words: “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn't worked. Try approving of…
by Kim Childs, CPPC I cringe to admit this, but I used to wonder, “Why don’t they just get over it?” when I’d see someone grieving for longer than I thought was warranted. While my compassion was generous, it had an expiration date. That was before an incredible four-year period of loss that included my marriage, three dear uncles, a close family friend, a beloved pet, and my father. During this time of multiple losses, grief moved in and unpacked…
by Kim Childs, CPPC Last year was one of the most rewarding and challenging of my life. After suffering several personal losses amid building a new business, I arrived on the doorstep of 2015 completely exhausted. My well was empty. The solution? Create a month-long, self-styled retreat in the comfort of my home because planning a trip anywhere else took more energy than I had. I excused myself from all but essential work projects, unplugged (mostly) from the Internet, saw…
by Kim Childs, CPPC The start of a new year offers itself irresistibly like a clean slate and invites us to consider: What are we ready to leave behind? What do we really, really, really want, going forward? Whether or not you believe in resolutions, these questions are always worth asking. For several years I’ve participated in Burning Bowl ceremonies on New Year’s Eve. They involve writing a list of things that we want to shed - from resentments and…
by Kim Childs, CPPC A few days ago I showed up to teach a chair yoga class at an assisted living facility, where employees were decking the halls and putting out poinsettias. "What's your favorite thing about the holidays?" I chirped to the women who'd gathered for class. "When they're over," said Marge, a normally polite and well-dressed octogenarian. I was not expecting that answer. With some gentle probing, Marge revealed that this was the first Christmas she'd be spending…
[caption id="attachment_1006" align="alignright" width="173"] Mr. Negativity, in the flesh[/caption] by Kim Childs, CPPC Sometimes, when people hear that I'm a Positive Psychology Coach, they mistakenly assume that I'm only about positive thinking and denying "reality" (quotes added because reality is multidimensional, but more about that later...). Positive Psychology does recommend that we notice, cultivate and savor the good in our lives, but it also acknowledges that life is full of loss, pain, illness, disappointment and setbacks. While feeling and acknowledging…